OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
