Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Randomize
