Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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