Im at strip club and am horny
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
