Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
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