Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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