he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize