you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
