I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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