This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
