my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
