i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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