What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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