I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I want a musical about memes.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
