Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
