But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
