"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
