Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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