dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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