Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
