ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
