i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
