her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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