that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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