Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
