Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
