Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
