just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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