I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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