so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
me + whiskey = a bad person
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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