we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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