if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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