You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize