he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
