accomplished twins. life is a go
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
