If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
there is glitter all over my balls
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
