Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
