I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
