it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
