Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
