Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
