break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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