well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
