i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Randomize
