Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
