Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
