Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
