Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
