Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
