No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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