Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize