my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
