And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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