Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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