is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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