u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
