Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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