Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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