thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
