Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
