Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
