drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
