What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Randomize
