on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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