it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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