Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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