There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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